At night I lay alone,

Things people said chilling me to the bone.

Then I think of what you said on the phone,

Seeping through my heart, the thought is forever sewn.

They tell me you lied to me,

That I’m so blind and didn't see,

And now if you apologize, you’ll be nothing but just a wanna be.

Mom says you probably betray and lie,

You ruined the definition of friendship for life.

But the things they say I just won't buy,

But when I start to believe it I can only sigh.

People tell me to give you another chance,

I’ve done it twice, but I don't want another glance.

My mom says you seem to play me like a card,

The thoughts continue, leaving me scared.

I think way too much, it's obvious to see,

But I’m glad because it always helps me.

I don't know who to trust anymore,

Him, you, my mom's thoughts, or that eyesore.

I’ve stepped up. He matters more in my life. Mom definitely wants the best.

I should turn back before it's too late.

So I sit alone behind this gate,

Planning my next move:

Just sit and wait.

As you set up your next victim,

I know you don't betray or lie.

Cause if you even try,

The thought of hurting me would make you die.

So I promise I’ll always stuff scorns over you,

That I promise until the end. :)

Best friends who call them self such, can be amazingly annoying.

Given that girl many chances but she's failed them all so I don't believe anyone changes.

I don't understand what everyone's problem is. Is there something I’m missing?

Or am I just full of everything that people wanna have.

So they have a propensity to hate me? Whatever!

Labels: betrayed

Missing you already, I need to feel your touch.
Didn't realise when you were leaving, I'd be missing you this much.
I need you here beside me, to fill this empty bed.
But alone I must lie, missing you instead.

I need you to be close, just to know that you are near.
Cos whenever I am with you, my trouble disappears.
I'll see you again after months, but it just won’t be the same..
We'll be in tenders, keeping up this game.

I feel so incomplete, like a part of me is missing.
I should be in your arms, getting the kisses and cuddles.
I need you in this room, to fill this empty space.
I need your arms around me, to feel your sweet embrace.

You've lent me a shoulder to cry on and helped me to get through..
When I thought I had no one, I could turn around and see you.
For that I'm forever grateful cos you've helped through so much..
So soothing are your words and your ever gentle touch.

I can think of you and be happy, whenever I'm feeling down.
Your one of the few things in my life that can make a smile from a frown.
I think I've really fallen for you, more than I thought I would.
And I'll be here for you forever and always like any good girlfriend should.

I LOVE YOU BABY!

Labels: LOVE. HIM.

You know I'd walk 1,000 miles if I could just see you.

I Miss You. & Its never too late to let you knw, I'll be waiting, i promise darling. :)

How long has it been?
It seems like years that we’ve been apart.
Yet it’s only been weeks.
It might as well be years,
Since it feels like that, in my heart.
There’s never an easy way to leave someone who you like,
Who you enjoy spending time with,
Who shares the same thoughts,
Same opinions,
Same likes,
Same interests.

It’s been 13 days today.
312 hours today.
18720 minutes today.
11,232,00 seconds today.
11,232,00 seconds too long.
For my taste.
Although I still see you,
And talk to you,
Through this computer screen,
Texts and rare calls,
It’s not enough, for me.
Call me selfish or greedy, I won’t care.
I’ll still miss you.
Its not about spending money on calls.
People think i'm insane, but i would do anything that encounters you.

Is there any easy way to say?
How much you long for someone?
A boyfriend just so far away,
Yet so close through these keys.
It’s not enough.
I want to see you,
And hear you in person.
Rather than through electronics.
There’s no easy way,
To ever say..
How hard this is for me.
And I’ll probably never be able to express just how much,
I miss you.

Labels: LOVE. HIM.

To The One I Love! When You Were Here, I Never Rly Knew What It Was To Be A'part From You. Now.. Since Your Gone, I Miss You Madly. Scotland & Malaysia, AIYOOK.

I might not say this often. But I miss you dearly.
When you were here, things felt different.
I felt wanted, secured, and loved.
It was just – that I started falling for you.

Who knew it would be a fast end?
Turns we took were like too fast and furious.
I often showed like I never cared.
But deep inside, it was you I yearned for.

Million miles away you are.
Hoping the phone would ring.
Hoping you’d send a text to me.
Hoping you would e-mail me.
Hoping I’d see you online.
Just hoping.. You were here right next to me.

You always showed the love that was beyond my past.
Loving one and losing it.
Losing one and loving it.
I pushed you away, saying I couldn’t get over it.

Now you’re torn away from me, and I know it now..
I was foolish, and I have to live with this fact.
The killer fact that you’re studying in Scotland while I’m here,
Hurting for everything that I’ve done towards you.
I wish it would have happened differently.

Now I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry.
Baby I want to try just once more.
Issues about ex - boyfriends and girlfriends.
It has ruined things very much between us.
And so it does to everyone else.
But I’ve got to let go of one thing, to not regret my future.
How do we cope when the one we love, is with someone else?
I got to face it.
Although, it’s heart breaking.
I need to deal with it.

It’s killing me to know that she still lingers in you.
But baby, this is how life goes.
I’ll do anything to give and take with you from now.
Losing one was bad. Losing another?
It’s something I need to fear.

All I wish for right now, that something above me would work.
The angels would be passing my messages now.
I’m missing you dearly.

Labels: LOVE. HIM.

This goes out to my amazing dad. For bringing me into this world, to the state that now when i rise a pen, i start writing. To hold his legacy.

Point of this : A Father Who Loved His Kids, But A Nightmare Struck The Family, Living To Break A Part The Joy They Had, Replacing It With Nothing But Hope & Faith. After All That They’ve Been Through, Just Maybe, God Will Change Their Fate? He Will. He Always Will.
It Isn't Just Something About Some Family.. Its The Portratit Of Mine, That People Thought It Was Perfect.. But Sooner Or Later, They'll Learn.. It Just Isn't. Life Is Beyond Luxury. People Think Life's Perfect If Your A Lawyers Daughter And Have Latest Trends.
But Grow Up People, We're All Humans. With Every Goddamn Problems.

I May Sound Harsh, But People. Alcohol Kills. The Least It Could Do, Is Break A Happy Family, Into Bits & Pieces.


This Goes Out To My Dad, Ramasamy Shanmugam. You've Not Just Been A Father To The Three Of Us.. But Also A Well Known Lawyer, A Fighter, A Good Husband To Mommy, The Fabbest Dad I Could Have Ever Asked For .. We've Been Through Every Down Together, Which Will Last Forever In Our Hearts. I Just Want You To Know, Although We Rarely Spend Time Together.. Even Till This Day, That You're Missed Dearly By Your Kids, And Your Wife Too. I LOVE YOU DADDY!!=]


After five, I look over to your chair.
I look at the emptiness it gives.
Dad, that space, makes me sad.
Cos' your not there to sing along.

Trials, mid terms, competitions, come along.
With my wins, it’s not like it used to be.
People change, and yeah, fate does too...
Dad, you aren’t there with a big grin to hug me.

My competitions come and go,
Dad, you back yourself from it - I stand alone.
You aren’t there to watch me win.
Your rarely there, to watch us win.

I walk into your office.. You grin a smile.
I hug you, I sit. You stand, you leave.
I look at your books, your certificates, your biggest wins - that leaves me proud.
We talk, we do. But it just doesn’t, feel the same anymore.

It’s been a long hard road with you by my side..

I see you, I talk to you, I feel you.
In every breathe I take, I know your with me at wins.
The memories, they haunt.
Sometimes, I miss you dad.

You can’t carry me on your shoulders.
Or go shopping with me for latest trends.
Or drive me around, while singing ‘‘dancing queen’’.
Or be my daddy, like you always used to be.

Why did it ever happen, dad?
I know there's no answer that will ever fit.
I wish I could still run over your shoulders.
I wish we didn’t lose that fight.
Why is god doing this to us?

Dad, I’d really like to know.
They just don’t know how much we suffer.
Watching your now, tears us apart.

I see you, it’s not the normal you - and that’s the hardest part of all.
No one even understands.
They think we're all - HAPPY.
But as humans, they just don’t get it on while I always bawl.
It’s like so hard..
It'll remain forever in our hearts.
A constant reminder of what has happened.
I beg you, stop alcohol.
Don’t treat me, us, this way.

God, I want my old daddy back.
Dad, if your there to listen to me at least once,
You'll know, that my life is perfect - but I lack.
Your still here with me, but I can’t stop, but miss my father you were.
It’s hard to live by; at least, I keep trying.
You’re still my number one.

The hero, The Fighter, The Role Model, The best of what I can really find - My father.

Labels: alcohol kills, family, father, misery